Happy International Women's Day

Being a woman takes a lot and often, there are not enough words to aptly describe the struggles, pains or joys of womanhood. Today is about celebrating all women, in all forms which we come.

          To all the women out there, the strong, weak, ecstatic, bereaved, thriving, struggling, surviving,              barely surviving, pushing, lifting, dragging, weary, sick, healthy, happy, sad, chaste, slutty,                      hardworking, lazy, peng, washed out, slayest, abused, traumatized, stigmatized, dickmatized,                  achievers, under-achievers, over-achievers, all of these women sacrificing it all just because we              women. I see and hear and celebrate you ALL.

 

Turn Every Situation Into Heaven

 

So I found this picture today and I loved it because I could totally relate to the words. I love music and I really love to dance because I find these lifting and joyous. No matter the mood I'm in, music cheers me up and dancing gives me a great boost.

What I forgot to remember was that the "world" being referred to in this picture excludes Nigeria. This country defies every norm, logic, or rule in the book. The events of the past few weeks have slowly unraveled and then rapidly escalated to doom and gloom. What with the change in currencies, scarcity of the new notes, scarcity of fuel, fuel queues causing endless and horrendous traffic, traffic robberies, people losing their minds inside banking halls because they cannot access cash and eat or fend for their families, etc etc. The list is endless for real and so heartbreaking to witness. This country will test every resolve within you and only God truly knows how we all get by here. 

Anyway, I danced in my room this morning before checking out to go board my flight back to Lagos and I had a spring about me all the way to the airport. Of course, Nigeria being Nigeria soon took the winds out of my sail when I got to the airport way earlier than my flight only to be told the flight had been moved three hours forward. I was furious because my outward trip was also delayed for eight hours and now this. Why this particular airline choses chaos and violence rather than the peace they should give beats me! 😡

I was so cross and frowned all the way past security and into the lounge to wait. As I sat there, I noticed there was a beauty salon within the lounge and suddenly remembered my mantra for this year 20203. I have made a decision and resolve this year that "For every time life shows me shege, I will retaliate with enjoyment". So I went in there to get a relaxing manicure and then ordered my favorite beer and food. No be me una go run down for this country as I dey so.  I refuse to gree abeg.

I noticed a long queue of people at an ATM the other day, they had been standing under the harsh sun for hours and it was just so crushing to witness. I had to send for a pack of water and distributed to those on the line. Things are really tough out there and we must all try to alleviate the pains and sufferings of those around us in any way we possibly can. Kind words, kind acts, hugs, etc. Just try to be #AllHeafrtsAlways to the needy around you.

I'll dare to say that come what may, keep dancing and turn every situation life throws your way into heaven. Heaven is whatever, whomever or wherever makes you feel joyous and fulfilled.

When His Ways Are Not Our Ways

The thing about God’s Mercies is that it wears many caps and not one size fits all. While we all know that His ways are clearly not our ways as we are often thrown in the lurch about certain things He allows to happen, we must however note that His varying mercies differ from person to person. While He is merciful to save some from death entirely, He is merciful to let death take others away to ease their pains and sufferings. 

Don’t bother trying to ask why because He is the all-knowing creator who does as He deems fit. Maybe someday, when the entire world ends at the same time for us all, we the mere mortals would get answers to our numerous pending questions. For now, we must learn to accept His decisions and carry on. 

Sending love and comfort to all who have lost their loved ones.

Rest in peace Francis, Danjuma and Tayo. 

Just Be Happy

Hello people and a very happy new week to you all. Adulthood has been adulthooding and it's a drag that's so different from balabluebulaba what we ever imagined it would seem. I strongly feel there should be a critical course offered in all universities called LIFE; Brace yourself or something like that, which would prepare people for what's ahead. Our various experiences make for more than enough live case studies.

Amidst all of these though, we must make very conscious and precise efforts to remain happy and keep smiling, come what may lest we find ourselves spiraling into a dark place within our own minds. These days, we have a generation of sad people with happy cameras in good phones. Make sure you’re happy in real life. Don't be intimidated by all you see on social media but let your heart feel and experience real joy. 

Have a splendid week ahead and don't forget to be #AllHeartsAlways 💓😊

Japa And Anyhowness

 The anyhowness of Nigerians is a disease that remains to be studied for understanding and solutions. If you are still wondering what anyhowness means, according to the urban dictionary, it means "doing things without direction". However, my own definition of this is simply "the carrying out of recklessness and rude acts that mostly endangers the lives of others and yourself, without you giving a single care in the world whilst you are at it". 

Japa on the other hand is another local term for migration. In the past couple of years, the number of Nigerians migrating to other countries, far and near, have been mind-blowing and scary especially those in the medical field. It is looking like we might either have to travel out for medical care ourselves or just resort to trado-medical care when ill as doctors and nurses have left the country in droves.

Anyway, when you combine these two words, you can see that the international level of disgrace and embarrassment awaiting migrants without common sense and decency is only a matter of time. I see how a lot of people carry themselves daily in their interactions with others. I see the condescending arrogance with which line managers and employers relate to their staff and I just know how utterly unacceptable that would be over there in the better civilized countries. Over there, people have values placed on their lives and mental well-being is taken very seriously.

People need to know to do better across board and treat others with respect. You cannot carry your anyhowness abroad and expect to get away with it the way you do over here. Your silly ass self will go to jail and/or get deported before you can say Jack Robinson. Here in Naija, even when a person is breaking a law or doing something utterly stupid, they will have co-idiots Voltrons to defend and support them. The amount of anyhowness I witness daily is just mind-boggling. Full adults would eat a snack in their cars and chuck the wraps out the window. Never mind that the items they litter the roads and invariably gutters with cause bigger problems for us all soon enough, but what do they care when they can easily blame the government for incompetence. When you, the logical law-abiding citizen, try to correct them and make see the errors of their ways, they and others around them will turn on you for not minding your business and (check this bit out) also for trying to render the street sweepers jobless!!!!!!! Every time I hear this thought process, I legit well up in tears at how pathetic the situation is.

Anyhowness is why people employ underaged staff and maltreat them. They just don't care. Anyhowness is why drivers feel the need to face oncoming vehicles without a care for how the rightful lane owners would go about their way. They just don't care. Anyhowness is why an inexperienced and unqualified person would open a hospital/pharmacy and run it like they know what they are doing while killing and maiming innocent people. They just don't care. Anyhowness is a politician brutally assaulting a shop attendant yet going ahead to contest for further political positions. He just doesn't care. 

The list is endless but you get my point, yes? So for those of you who have already japa-ed or are planning to, you better unlearn the huge craps you have learnt over the years and have an open mind towards people, situations and things in general. If you do anyhow out there, you will collect wotowoto and it will serve you right.

Happy New Year 2023

 Yes. I know today is the 13th already but I'm sure it's still a brand sparkling new year for some. 😀

I miss writing.......

I miss you all. my faithful blog followers and readers............

I aim to be happier, healthier, write-ier, upload-ier and all of that this year. 😀

As always, I wish you all a brilliant year ahead. Whatever you do this year and regardless of what happens, ensure you keep forging ahead for better. Life is way too short to be miserable and sad. Live a little.

Keep being #AllHeartsAlways

Life And Curve Balls

Life.

It often comes at you quite unexpectedly, fast and hard. Sometimes, the curve balls life throws at us comes out of the blue and smacks us in the face. There's nothing we can do to stop or properly prepare us for these curve balls when they hit other than to do our best to rise above the challenges and emotions that comes with.

I feel like there should have been a course in university tagged 'Life, Curve balls and Adulthood: How to overcome." A full module with real life case studies helping us to know what shockers life could and would have waiting for us as we approach adulthood, and likely solutions to help overcome these challenges when they do come.

I have been through some really deep, life-threatening, life-changing situations in the time I have spent on earth so far (I do not go by the e-name Survivor17 by mistake) but the events of the past one year broke me in more ways than I can ever put down here succinctly. In simpler words, life has shown me pepper shege ooooooooo BUT I no gree. 😁I am not one to give up or quit on anything at all. So for every Gbas (hit) life lands me, I give back as much of a resounding Gbos (hit back), even if this just means taking it all up on the shin but not giving up on life itself.

Anyway, that is gist a post for another day.

Today, I am here to show gratitude for my life being preserved after I had a near-fatal accident six years ago. I wrote a bit about it here back then but I did not quite capture what happened in details. It was bad and up till now, I still do not know how I came out of that wreckage alive. The crushed car was totally written off. I was returning home from a work event with a colleague, who was driving, when we got hit by something and our car started somersaulting. For some weird reason, I felt a very calming peace envelope me but after I counted the fourth overturn, I just closed my eyes and resigned myself to fate. Several somersaults afterwards and we came to a halt on the other side of the road facing the wrong way. 

After the accident, we were helped AND robbed by passersby. The car was a complete write-off. It was a wild experience but I am glad I lived to tell the story. Between then and now, I have been the Survivor I always am, regardless of what life throws at me. Still, I keep rising. 💪😃

In conclusion, adulthood is harder than the rock of Gibraltar but we must persevere and LIVE life right. When life throws lemons at you, cut them up, pour them into a glass cup, add some vodka and ice and drink up.

Cheers.

RISE ABOVE

 

Hello my dearest readers (in Bridgerton Lady Whistledown's voice), it HAS been a minute hasn't it? (inserts deep sigh) I have no excuses other than that Nigeria and adulthood has been happening to me. In my head, I have written everyday since I was last here. 

My sincere apologies for leaving it for this long. I aim to do better. 💖💖💖

The thing about depression is how it creeps up on you and takes over your sense, leaving you near helpless but desolate. Your mind reads an article and several minutes or hours afterwards, your brain goes into nibbling overdrive. Take for example my seeing the news about the explosion in Kano earlier on Monday and how I was physically sick after reading the news and seeing snippets of the video which had frightened little children in uniforms and a burning torso in it. It saddened me a great deal that this is what we have to deal with almost on the daily in Nigeria now. Death, blood, gore, kidnapping, domestic violence, religious violence, horrors of all sorts. Hours later, my brain suddenly whispers to me that “some mothers who dressed their kids up for school this morning, are in tears now because they no longer have those kids”. That thought brought tears to my eyes, had goosebumps all over my body and sent shivers down my spine. It is a cruel and sickening occurrence especially after the lynching of the undergraduate Deborah in Sokoto State a few days earlier. For a few seconds, it made me wonder what this whole existence is really about and if it is worth the pains.

It took some serious mind control over the matters at hand and lots of prayers for me not to fall down the slippery slope of darkness the awful news around me was pushing me through. I also had prompt support from close friends and family so that helped but it made me realize how very easily one's mind can snap without the right support when faced with dire news or situations. It made me realize that there are lots of people out there who are not equipped with the right support system to help them go through dark times/phases and I wonder how they cope and rise above. My heart prays for everyone going through rough times and I'm sending out love and light to you all. 💓🙏

One thing for sure about adulthood is that everyone is going through one thing (or 50) or the other but we all just keep smiling and pushing through. No be only you waka come o, so do not feel alone when you are down or going through tough times. Rather, reach out and take whatever support you get. Do fun and happy things to lift yourself up. Also reach out constantly to your friends and loved ones because oftentimes, the most cheerful of people are the ones needing care and support the most.

Assuredly, dark clouds will ALWAYS lift and there is ALWAYS a rainbow at the end of each storm so don’t let the gloomy and dark thoughts drown you. RISE ABOVE. 

EVERYBODY HURTS

Hmmmmmmn.

We are still raw from the pains and destructions we witnessed this week. It hurts so much, way more than I can put into words. 

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I typed the paragraph above over an hour ago and I am still unable to put the words in my head into typing writing. So, I have decided to share with you my therapy, which gets me through everything life throws at me. MUSIC. Music, sweet tea and fresh flowers always make everything better and I would strongly recommend either or all of these three whenever you're feeling blue.

A particular song comes to mind today because the words, melody and everything about it are so soothing. It's "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. This song will most likely make you cry but you will feel better afterwards because you are not alone. We are all in this mess together and we will overcome together. 

The lyrics are below:

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on)
(Hold on) if you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life
Well, hang on

'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand
Oh, no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you're not alone

If you're on your own
In this life
The days and nights are… 

HANG ON AND STAY STRONG. 💖🌹🌹🌹🌸🌸🌸🌻🌻🌻🌺🌺🌺💕

Kept Up By The Monsters They Created

This week has been one of the most trying weeks I've ever had to go through and trust me, I did not coin the user name @survivor17 without having really gone through some major stuff in life, but this week took the absolute biscuit. Between having three family medical near-crisis, the protests which eventually turned into an absolute nightmare and the president's awful speech last night, I think I was almost about done with everything.

Skipping the family medical near-crisis, while being EXTREMELY thankful for miracles as usual, I'll go straight to the protests and outcomes. 

I have not the words.

You see,  20-10-20 is the Black Tuesday we MUST NEVER forget in Nigeria and worldwide if we must be honest. What started as peaceful protests across the country in a bid to try to end or at least curb the insane police brutalities happening across the country especially in the Eastern and South western parts of the country, quickly spiralled into chaos and ended in sorrow, tears, pains, and blood.  💔💔💔😢😢 

All most of us wanted was for peace to reign and for young people to be able to live without the fear of being snatched randomly and tortured by the same SARS (Special Anti-Robbery Squad) that should otherwise have been keeping us all safe. Alas, some unscrupulous elements in the society chose to have war, unrest, blood and all the horrors of hell instead. A bunch of unknown yet heavily armed soldiers went to the toll gate in Lekki (Lagos State) and opened fire on UNARMED citizens who sat there singing the anthem and waving their flags. It felt like a full horror movie was playing out right before our very eyes. Thank God a brave young lady called DJ Switch was on scene to share the horror to over a 100,000 of us all via her instagram live. 

I have not the accurate words to describe the horror I saw and heard that night but I'll try. There were absolutely terrified but BRAVE people singing the National Anthem with trembling voices and just the national cloth-flags to protect them, people bleeding out from gunshots wounds while wailing in raw pains as the weeping but unharmed tried to prise bullets out of them with rusty pliers sterilised with sachets of cheap alcohol, people taking their very last breaths right before our eyes, some injured being carried to safer distances with the hopes that ambulances would arrive in time to save them, and so many more that I  I shudder to relive now. I watched it all LIVE on instagram. Lord!

It was the stuff nightmares were made off, that Black Tuesday.

How could any sane human being, let alone an elected government have ordered a hit on its own citizen, even moreso harmless ones? It beggared belief and still does. I simply cannot wrap my head around it all. I was shaken to my very core and absolutely broken by what I witnessed. They didn't even let ambulances through to help the injured for hours, still they kept shooting at intervals till morning. It was horrific.

By the next morning, naturally tempers were flying all over the place and people came out really angry and started targeting certain establishments they felt were owned by the person they assumed was behind the attack. I mean they didn't just start attacking his supposed businesses but they were practically lured and goaded into doing so by some cowardly instigators who fed off the chaos. It felt like a scene out of a zombie movie as people came out in droves to destroy and burn properties of anyone with perceived affiliation with the government. 

The larger end result of this were miscreants and hoodlums (read this piece which I wrote SIX years ago) who had clearly had enough of the economic divide and situation in the country over time also joining in the melee and as such gave way to murder, arson, jail breaks, looting, destruction, sexual abuse, robbery, and every other evil you can think of. A lot of this occurred regardless of the curfew imposed by the governor of the state. People went stark raving mad and acted like monsters who had had a taste of rare human blood and longed for more. 

I couldn't stop crying for two days, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I was numb. How could this happen to our beloved nation despite all we have tried to do over the years to keep things on track and make them better?  😰😰😭😭😭

I started to feel a bit better yesterday evening after I got two funny caricature videos. They cracked me up and I was glad I was able to laugh amidst the despair. This however only lasted for a short while until I saw a fresh video from that Black Tuesday night. It sent me spinning into near depression as I relived the horror afresh and broke out into a cold sweat while quelling panic attacks. 

You see the things about all I've written about is that it isn't even close to half of what I have been through this week at all but I will move on to the last bit which was the president's speech last night.

Per the speech, I absolutely do not have the heart nor words to fully describe the emotions that went through me before, during and after it. Oh wait, scratch that last bit, I know what I went through after it and it was a firm resolve not to wail in despair but to restrategize my outlook on life and a sweet sense of comical hysteria because if I had not chosen to find humour and laughter in my pains and anguish last night, I would have completely lost it.

So here I am, another night of being unable to sleep at all for fear of flashbacks from that Black Tuesday and absolutely frightening nightmares for when I do drift off. I keep wondering that if I feel as awful as I do now, how are those BRAVE ones who stood firm in the face of death feeling now? We all need counselling as a nation but that's another story for another day.

I want to say God bless Nigeria but even my tired is tired. 😓

I wish us all well and I pray the souls of the dead find the rest they require after they seek justice out. 🙏🙏🙏

Keep being #AllHeartsAlways in all you do and where you find yourself. 💖💖💖