Eleven Years On…… #Aluu4

I recall the horror washing over me when I watched the #Aluu4 video eleven years ago.

I recall the helplessness on their faces as they were dragged and beaten and mocked and tortured by a mob.

I recall the hope in their eyes that perhaps, just perhaps, a miracle would occur and ONE person would step in and save them.

I recall the painfully outstretched hands pleading for mercy and begging for their lives to be spared.

I recall the rage, venom and madness that overtook the murderous crowd as they pummeled these young men to death.

I recall imagining what their parents would go through, knowing “fellow Nigerians” murdered their children in cold blood.

I recall crying and cursing at the injustice behind the savage act.

I recall my shock and disbelief at the fact that in that crowd were human beings as well, yet they acted as beasts.

I recall wondering how we got to such a low point in humanity and how such hatred and evil has came to reside in our hearts.

I recall seeing faces of women and youths and men, people with families as well yet they stood by and did nothing.

I recall my utter disbelief and shock at the fact that even the police who were on the scene did NOTHING TO SAVE THOSE FOUR YOUNG MEN.

I recall wondering why they did not shoot into the air to disperse the crowd, why they did not call for backup and if they did why it never arrived before the tragic end.

I recall wondering how ALL those who partook in the lynching as direct murderers and as onlookers slept that night.

I recall pondering on how they could live with themselves afterwards.

I recall the lingering horror that remained with me for months despite the fact that I did not 

watch it to the gruesome end, I couldn’t.

I recall thinking eagerly that surely, with video evidence there would be justice for the families of these innocent ones.

I recall putting my effort into a mini campaign of awareness about the evil in lynching suspects and even convicted criminals.

I recall that it took years for convictions to be made but that’s never going to bring them boys back. So I will keep remembering and posting these articles with high hopes that someday soon, jungle justice would be a thing of the past. 

I fear for what we, Nigerians and human beings as a whole, have/are becoming.

I vow to do my best to enlighten as many as possible on the ills lurking in the hearts of people.

I vow to do my part for humanity and get justice for helpless victims in any way I can.

I vow to raise my children right and teach them about good and evil and consequences.

I vow not to sugarcoat the truth to those I reach out to and to ensure they know that abnormal things cannot and should not be taken for normal.

I vow to do my bit for humanity and for our beloved country Nigeria.

What would you do?

REST IN PEACE Lloyd, Chidi, Tekena and Ugonna.

Undulating Adulthood

Adulthood........ gosh I remember how eager we all were to attain adulthood and live our best lives without a care in the world. LOL. Well, would you look at us now? Battling with all the fcukeries that comes with adulthood and then some. Wading our ways through the paths life daily charts us, nary a solid clue (for most) of how to truly get there but striving to, we keep at. 

I think the part no one and nothing prepared me for the most is grief. Loosing friends and loved ones and not knowing what to do with all the pains and aches but letting it hit hard every now and then whilst yet keeping up a brave face to the world, a façade of beauty, strength and flair above the intense pains and gloom grief bears like sour gifts. 

Adulthood......... You know you have done more than enough and you know you are worth way more yet doubts cling on to you like luxury perfumes on garments adorned. Yet, you keep going because those looking up to you and drawing strength from you are many. They are legion and you simply cannot let them down because to let them down is to let yourself down. So you keep pushing........... to what end? Doesn't matter really. To keep their dream alive because they live forever in your heart largely so their visions and hopes doesn't die with them. 

Just keep going and try not to hurt or be hurt too much. Be any type of adult you simply can but just be a kind one while you are adulting.............................................

P.s. The above was written on a whim and served as a ladder, an outlet if you may, from a dark place into a place of light and love. If it made no sense to you, it's OK. Keep going. If it made sense to you, know that you are not alone, ok?

Live. Love. Dance. Smile

Happy International Women's Day

Being a woman takes a lot and often, there are not enough words to aptly describe the struggles, pains or joys of womanhood. Today is about celebrating all women, in all forms which we come.

          To all the women out there, the strong, weak, ecstatic, bereaved, thriving, struggling, surviving,              barely surviving, pushing, lifting, dragging, weary, sick, healthy, happy, sad, chaste, slutty,                      hardworking, lazy, peng, washed out, slayest, abused, traumatized, stigmatized, dickmatized,                  achievers, under-achievers, over-achievers, all of these women sacrificing it all just because we              women. I see and hear and celebrate you ALL.

 

Turn Every Situation Into Heaven

 

So I found this picture today and I loved it because I could totally relate to the words. I love music and I really love to dance because I find these lifting and joyous. No matter the mood I'm in, music cheers me up and dancing gives me a great boost.

What I forgot to remember was that the "world" being referred to in this picture excludes Nigeria. This country defies every norm, logic, or rule in the book. The events of the past few weeks have slowly unraveled and then rapidly escalated to doom and gloom. What with the change in currencies, scarcity of the new notes, scarcity of fuel, fuel queues causing endless and horrendous traffic, traffic robberies, people losing their minds inside banking halls because they cannot access cash and eat or fend for their families, etc etc. The list is endless for real and so heartbreaking to witness. This country will test every resolve within you and only God truly knows how we all get by here. 

Anyway, I danced in my room this morning before checking out to go board my flight back to Lagos and I had a spring about me all the way to the airport. Of course, Nigeria being Nigeria soon took the winds out of my sail when I got to the airport way earlier than my flight only to be told the flight had been moved three hours forward. I was furious because my outward trip was also delayed for eight hours and now this. Why this particular airline choses chaos and violence rather than the peace they should give beats me! 😡

I was so cross and frowned all the way past security and into the lounge to wait. As I sat there, I noticed there was a beauty salon within the lounge and suddenly remembered my mantra for this year 20203. I have made a decision and resolve this year that "For every time life shows me shege, I will retaliate with enjoyment". So I went in there to get a relaxing manicure and then ordered my favorite beer and food. No be me una go run down for this country as I dey so.  I refuse to gree abeg.

I noticed a long queue of people at an ATM the other day, they had been standing under the harsh sun for hours and it was just so crushing to witness. I had to send for a pack of water and distributed to those on the line. Things are really tough out there and we must all try to alleviate the pains and sufferings of those around us in any way we possibly can. Kind words, kind acts, hugs, etc. Just try to be #AllHeafrtsAlways to the needy around you.

I'll dare to say that come what may, keep dancing and turn every situation life throws your way into heaven. Heaven is whatever, whomever or wherever makes you feel joyous and fulfilled.

When His Ways Are Not Our Ways

The thing about God’s Mercies is that it wears many caps and not one size fits all. While we all know that His ways are clearly not our ways as we are often thrown in the lurch about certain things He allows to happen, we must however note that His varying mercies differ from person to person. While He is merciful to save some from death entirely, He is merciful to let death take others away to ease their pains and sufferings. 

Don’t bother trying to ask why because He is the all-knowing creator who does as He deems fit. Maybe someday, when the entire world ends at the same time for us all, we the mere mortals would get answers to our numerous pending questions. For now, we must learn to accept His decisions and carry on. 

Sending love and comfort to all who have lost their loved ones.

Rest in peace Francis, Danjuma and Tayo. 

Just Be Happy

Hello people and a very happy new week to you all. Adulthood has been adulthooding and it's a drag that's so different from balabluebulaba what we ever imagined it would seem. I strongly feel there should be a critical course offered in all universities called LIFE; Brace yourself or something like that, which would prepare people for what's ahead. Our various experiences make for more than enough live case studies.

Amidst all of these though, we must make very conscious and precise efforts to remain happy and keep smiling, come what may lest we find ourselves spiraling into a dark place within our own minds. These days, we have a generation of sad people with happy cameras in good phones. Make sure you’re happy in real life. Don't be intimidated by all you see on social media but let your heart feel and experience real joy. 

Have a splendid week ahead and don't forget to be #AllHeartsAlways 💓😊

Japa And Anyhowness

 The anyhowness of Nigerians is a disease that remains to be studied for understanding and solutions. If you are still wondering what anyhowness means, according to the urban dictionary, it means "doing things without direction". However, my own definition of this is simply "the carrying out of recklessness and rude acts that mostly endangers the lives of others and yourself, without you giving a single care in the world whilst you are at it". 

Japa on the other hand is another local term for migration. In the past couple of years, the number of Nigerians migrating to other countries, far and near, have been mind-blowing and scary especially those in the medical field. It is looking like we might either have to travel out for medical care ourselves or just resort to trado-medical care when ill as doctors and nurses have left the country in droves.

Anyway, when you combine these two words, you can see that the international level of disgrace and embarrassment awaiting migrants without common sense and decency is only a matter of time. I see how a lot of people carry themselves daily in their interactions with others. I see the condescending arrogance with which line managers and employers relate to their staff and I just know how utterly unacceptable that would be over there in the better civilized countries. Over there, people have values placed on their lives and mental well-being is taken very seriously.

People need to know to do better across board and treat others with respect. You cannot carry your anyhowness abroad and expect to get away with it the way you do over here. Your silly ass self will go to jail and/or get deported before you can say Jack Robinson. Here in Naija, even when a person is breaking a law or doing something utterly stupid, they will have co-idiots Voltrons to defend and support them. The amount of anyhowness I witness daily is just mind-boggling. Full adults would eat a snack in their cars and chuck the wraps out the window. Never mind that the items they litter the roads and invariably gutters with cause bigger problems for us all soon enough, but what do they care when they can easily blame the government for incompetence. When you, the logical law-abiding citizen, try to correct them and make see the errors of their ways, they and others around them will turn on you for not minding your business and (check this bit out) also for trying to render the street sweepers jobless!!!!!!! Every time I hear this thought process, I legit well up in tears at how pathetic the situation is.

Anyhowness is why people employ underaged staff and maltreat them. They just don't care. Anyhowness is why drivers feel the need to face oncoming vehicles without a care for how the rightful lane owners would go about their way. They just don't care. Anyhowness is why an inexperienced and unqualified person would open a hospital/pharmacy and run it like they know what they are doing while killing and maiming innocent people. They just don't care. Anyhowness is a politician brutally assaulting a shop attendant yet going ahead to contest for further political positions. He just doesn't care. 

The list is endless but you get my point, yes? So for those of you who have already japa-ed or are planning to, you better unlearn the huge craps you have learnt over the years and have an open mind towards people, situations and things in general. If you do anyhow out there, you will collect wotowoto and it will serve you right.

Happy New Year 2023

 Yes. I know today is the 13th already but I'm sure it's still a brand sparkling new year for some. 😀

I miss writing.......

I miss you all. my faithful blog followers and readers............

I aim to be happier, healthier, write-ier, upload-ier and all of that this year. 😀

As always, I wish you all a brilliant year ahead. Whatever you do this year and regardless of what happens, ensure you keep forging ahead for better. Life is way too short to be miserable and sad. Live a little.

Keep being #AllHeartsAlways

Life And Curve Balls

Life.

It often comes at you quite unexpectedly, fast and hard. Sometimes, the curve balls life throws at us comes out of the blue and smacks us in the face. There's nothing we can do to stop or properly prepare us for these curve balls when they hit other than to do our best to rise above the challenges and emotions that comes with.

I feel like there should have been a course in university tagged 'Life, Curve balls and Adulthood: How to overcome." A full module with real life case studies helping us to know what shockers life could and would have waiting for us as we approach adulthood, and likely solutions to help overcome these challenges when they do come.

I have been through some really deep, life-threatening, life-changing situations in the time I have spent on earth so far (I do not go by the e-name Survivor17 by mistake) but the events of the past one year broke me in more ways than I can ever put down here succinctly. In simpler words, life has shown me pepper shege ooooooooo BUT I no gree. 😁I am not one to give up or quit on anything at all. So for every Gbas (hit) life lands me, I give back as much of a resounding Gbos (hit back), even if this just means taking it all up on the shin but not giving up on life itself.

Anyway, that is gist a post for another day.

Today, I am here to show gratitude for my life being preserved after I had a near-fatal accident six years ago. I wrote a bit about it here back then but I did not quite capture what happened in details. It was bad and up till now, I still do not know how I came out of that wreckage alive. The crushed car was totally written off. I was returning home from a work event with a colleague, who was driving, when we got hit by something and our car started somersaulting. For some weird reason, I felt a very calming peace envelope me but after I counted the fourth overturn, I just closed my eyes and resigned myself to fate. Several somersaults afterwards and we came to a halt on the other side of the road facing the wrong way. 

After the accident, we were helped AND robbed by passersby. The car was a complete write-off. It was a wild experience but I am glad I lived to tell the story. Between then and now, I have been the Survivor I always am, regardless of what life throws at me. Still, I keep rising. 💪😃

In conclusion, adulthood is harder than the rock of Gibraltar but we must persevere and LIVE life right. When life throws lemons at you, cut them up, pour them into a glass cup, add some vodka and ice and drink up.

Cheers.

RISE ABOVE

 

Hello my dearest readers (in Bridgerton Lady Whistledown's voice), it HAS been a minute hasn't it? (inserts deep sigh) I have no excuses other than that Nigeria and adulthood has been happening to me. In my head, I have written everyday since I was last here. 

My sincere apologies for leaving it for this long. I aim to do better. 💖💖💖

The thing about depression is how it creeps up on you and takes over your sense, leaving you near helpless but desolate. Your mind reads an article and several minutes or hours afterwards, your brain goes into nibbling overdrive. Take for example my seeing the news about the explosion in Kano earlier on Monday and how I was physically sick after reading the news and seeing snippets of the video which had frightened little children in uniforms and a burning torso in it. It saddened me a great deal that this is what we have to deal with almost on the daily in Nigeria now. Death, blood, gore, kidnapping, domestic violence, religious violence, horrors of all sorts. Hours later, my brain suddenly whispers to me that “some mothers who dressed their kids up for school this morning, are in tears now because they no longer have those kids”. That thought brought tears to my eyes, had goosebumps all over my body and sent shivers down my spine. It is a cruel and sickening occurrence especially after the lynching of the undergraduate Deborah in Sokoto State a few days earlier. For a few seconds, it made me wonder what this whole existence is really about and if it is worth the pains.

It took some serious mind control over the matters at hand and lots of prayers for me not to fall down the slippery slope of darkness the awful news around me was pushing me through. I also had prompt support from close friends and family so that helped but it made me realize how very easily one's mind can snap without the right support when faced with dire news or situations. It made me realize that there are lots of people out there who are not equipped with the right support system to help them go through dark times/phases and I wonder how they cope and rise above. My heart prays for everyone going through rough times and I'm sending out love and light to you all. 💓🙏

One thing for sure about adulthood is that everyone is going through one thing (or 50) or the other but we all just keep smiling and pushing through. No be only you waka come o, so do not feel alone when you are down or going through tough times. Rather, reach out and take whatever support you get. Do fun and happy things to lift yourself up. Also reach out constantly to your friends and loved ones because oftentimes, the most cheerful of people are the ones needing care and support the most.

Assuredly, dark clouds will ALWAYS lift and there is ALWAYS a rainbow at the end of each storm so don’t let the gloomy and dark thoughts drown you. RISE ABOVE.